HATE / SOLUTION – 4/3/04 & 4/9/04

I hate how it burns me
making me slow and always behind
I hate how it wears me down
spreading and speaking only in lies
it fits like a burden
A crown that drips hatred from my eyes
I cannot deny it
It’s as much of me as my need to destroy it
It covers my head while I’m asleep
and wakes me from my forgetful rest
I can’t seem to shed my skin
that itches when I continue to fail
It’s putting me to the test
and I hate all the rules that I’m applying
Oh what the fuck can I do
to rid my life of this godawful hatred?
Keep away, hold me closer to the flame
I’ll never suffer enough
It hurts and I need it to remember
Remember…what I’ve done…to survive
Dwelling inside myself I speak only to myself of this hatred
This is what I can’t take
I just don’t know how to leave it behind
Hate. What I hate. Makes me hate.
And I’m talking in circles
I’m lying awake in fear
and hating the fear that keeps the chain short
I’m dying…to break free…
of the HATE that consumes my love

4/9/04

When I see someone in need of aid
I want to help and lend a hand
I don’t love them but I feel good
the reason was wrong, but a change was made

I understand that I’m selfish and vain
and still pride sits on my shoulder
I don’t know how to rid my life of sin
and the world is only growing colder

I could clean up all the highways
and hope it would be recognized
Something I think should be done
although it might be kind of fun, I still need to realize

It’s better than watching it go down
and waiting for a purer soul
What difference does it really make?
If I’m free or on parole?

April 3, 2004

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