It’ll all be over soon – 11/14/03

I kinda wanna bleed on account of me feelin’ evil
I think it’d be beautiful lookin’
All the bright red color flowing down in perfect rivers
Just to watch all the evil go drainin’ away
knowing it’ll all be over soon, no more fear
I don’t think it’d hurt much…
Reckon all the real pain would be gone more or less
Each drop on the tile could be a different kind of bad
Ego, then greed, hatred, vanity…slowly going away
Finally leaving me to die in peace
Although I know it’s wrong,
I always pictured it like that, just me
It doesn’t matter how friendly I am to people
I’m still in prison with myself and I hate me
Everything seems real simple but I’m paralyzed
by fear of bein’ who I wanna be
I say I don’t care about dyin’ sometimes
It might be better than this
but I’m scared of doin’ what I want to make this life better
Guess I’m scared of going to jail where they won’t let me die
I want to start a fire and burn down contradiction
I know how easy it would be
and I still complain that everything’s so hard
I’d rather be helpless and weak and sad
than to be powerful and evil
That’s all I see under my smiling reflection
is a proud, evil spirit who’s learned how to mock love
It’s strange how fast things change
Happy one day and suicidal the next
Nothing seems to last too long
Embrace change and laugh! HA!

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